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Writer's pictureErin Schwab

Aging Gracefully: Breaking Free from Bitterness and Embracing Joy

#6 in the Aging Gracefully Series


Aging gracefully goes beyond physical health—it’s about nurturing the soul, embracing forgiveness, and choosing joy over bitterness. Bitterness can be an invisible thief, robbing us of peace and joy as we age. But we can take steps to release resentment and step into a life of grace and joy. Here’s how.


two hands up in the air with handcuffs on
handcuffed hands

Why Bitterness Holds Us Back from Aging Gracefully


Bitterness is often subtle, showing up in a negative attitude, critical words, or an unforgiving spirit. It can grow quietly within us, stealing our joy. Hebrews 12:14-15 warns us to “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy… See to it that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” The choice is ours: will we let bitterness take root, or will we grow in grace and joy?


[Consider this: Do my words, tone of voice, and attitudes contribute to an atmosphere of joy or discontent?]



Choosing Joy Over Bitterness: God’s Call


Scripture calls us to choose joy, even in life’s challenges. James 1:2-4 encourages us: “When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.” Similarly, Nehemiah 8:10 reminds us, “The joy of the Lord is my strength.” Choosing joy allows us to align with God’s grace, drawing strength from Him to navigate trials.


God, as the only righteous judge, holds the ultimate authority to judge rightly. As 2 Corinthians 5:10 teaches, “We must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.”


Because of this, we are relieved of the burden of judgment. Instead, we are called to release those who have wronged us, remembering that God has forgiven us. By doing so, we embrace His joy, stepping away from the bitterness that can weigh down our hearts.


Understanding Forgiveness: The Key to a Gracious Life


Forgiveness is essential to releasing bitterness, but it’s also often misunderstood. Consider these truths about forgiveness:

  • Forgiveness is NOT letting someone off the hook. It doesn’t mean allowing continued hurt.

  • Forgiveness is NOT immediate or easy. It’s a process that often starts with a mental decision of the will and leads to inner freedom.

  • Forgiveness doesn’t start with feelings. We choose to forgive, leading with faith and supporting that choice with God’s truth.

  • The mark of forgiveness is NOT that you no longer hurt; it is that you are no longer preoccupied with the hurt.


Withholding forgiveness may feel justified, but it often ends up harming us, not the other person. When we hold onto resentment, we’re the ones weighed down. *Grace, mercy, and forgiveness are possible because Jesus' death was sufficient to forgive all our sins. When we receive His forgiveness, we can extend that forgiveness; we find the power to live giving, forgiving, and reconciling lives.


Breaking Free from Bitterness: Practical Steps to Embrace Forgiveness


Ready to forgive? Speaking it aloud can be powerful. Try praying, “Lord, today I choose to forgive [name] for [specific action]. I do it as an act of obedience to you.”


This journey holds the potential to unlock joy, peace, and the freedom to age gracefully. While an immediate inner transformation may not always occur, and deep pain may persist, as we entrust ourselves to Him and embrace the flow of His grace, an inner flourishing begins. The connection between God's forgiveness of us and our forgiveness of others becomes the key to stepping into a beautiful, joyful way of living.


Additionally, consider asking yourself if you need to seek forgiveness from someone. A simple approach might be, “I am sorry I hurt you by [action]. Will you forgive me?” (Don’t make excuses or give reasons.)


A still life of honey, flowers and tangerines on a table
Honey, flowers and tangerines

Embrace Grace and Let Go of Bitterness


Grace means being forgiven even when we don’t deserve it. When we accept grace, we extend it to others, paving the way for a life free from resentment. This is serious and important work, and it could be the key to living gracefully in your later years. If you’d like support on this journey, reach out—I’m here to walk with you.


By focusing on forgiveness and choosing joy, we can age gracefully, free from the chains of bitterness.


Aging gracefully starts within.


Are you ready to release bitterness and embrace a life filled with joy and grace as you age?

If you're seeking guidance on this journey, don’t navigate it alone. I invite you to sign up for my coaching services to receive personalized support and practical tools to help you grow spiritually, cultivate forgiveness, and live a life that reflects God’s grace. Together, let’s unlock the freedom to age gracefully and joyfully. Sign up today and take the first step towards a renewed, grace-filled life!


Man with arms lifted up by waterfall
Joyful man with arms lifted high by waterfall



*For trauma healing I highly recommend https://rebootrecovery.com/trauma/

Trauma REBOOT is a 12-week, faith-based, peer-led course empowering people from all walks of life to overcome trauma and embrace a brighter future. Through practical teaching and a supportive community, Trauma REBOOT can help you break free from the pain of your past and find renewed purpose and strength. (If you are in the Spokane area, Northview hosts this course, usually starting in January.)

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